Thieves at the Gym

So, yesterday I felt like absolute ass. I went to my normal (extremely late) bedtime but then ended up sleeping most of the day away. I debated whether I would do anything in the exercise-realm at all but finally decided a run at the gym would be better than nothing. So I masked up, and went to jog on the treadmill. I normally do most of my runs outside but because I live in Texas and a half of a decade of living here has broken me, I can no longer do the runs I want to do outside in the summer. So, inside it is.

What was intriguing about this run was that when I went to the gym, some five hours later than I normally do, I saw a few of the same characters I see at my usual time. One such exerciser was this fool, dressed in ridiculous garb, hiking away on a treadmill at a 30% incline. First he would walk regularly; then backwards; then side-step; then throwing in a little jig; then two-stepping and everything in between. I mean, whatever gets you to the gym, I guess, but come on. I did my run and I was glad I did. It made me feel oodles better.

Today, I go in at my normal time and I see the same guy on the same treadmill, in the same clothes. I jokingly think that he has been there since last night, yodel walking his way along like the Cliffhangers Game in The Price is Right.

I sidle up next to him (as that is where the good treadmill is located) and begin my…